You’ve Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

Full 106 Chapter (End)

You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale


Hei Dan Bai ;黑蛋白

Adult, Comedy, Historical, Mature, Romance, Smut, Yaoi

Chinese Novel



The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homosexual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.

Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.

Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.

Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virgin. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.

He might as well die.

Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit suicide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virgin to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.

List of Chapters
List of Chapters
Chapter 1 - The Affairs of Adviser Wu
Chapter 2 - Penpals Through the Pigeon Express
Chapter 3 - Receiving A Pile of Pengornis Drawings
Chapter 4 - Nothing Was More Important Than The Pengornis Drawings
Chapter 5 - Adviser Wu’s Wet Dream (NSFW)
Chapter 6 - Adviser, Your Pengornis
Chapter 7 - Shall We Expose Ourselves to Each Other?
Chapter 8 - On the Peaks of Pleasure, In the Showers of Desire
Chapter 9 - Playing With the Adviser’s Little Pengornis
Chapter 10 - Flute Appreciation with Adviser Wu
Chapter 11 - The Great South Garrison General
Chapter 12 - The Great South Garrison General Part 2
Chapter 13 - They Meet Again
Chapter 14 - Let Mr D In, Here’s a Good Boy (NSFW)
Chapter 15 - Guess Where This Jade Rod is Going? (NSFW)
Chapter 16 - The General Wants to Stay
Chapter 17 - A Beauty’s Favour is the Hardest to Enjoy
Chapter 18 - City Folks are Really Different
Chapter 19 - It Always Backfires When The General Tries to Fuck A Certain Someone Over
Chapter 20 - The Lewd Darling and The Big Pengornis
Chapter 21 - Why Must You Insist On It?
Chapter 22 - Who Exactly Was That Person?
Chapter 23 - All First Loves Are Painful
Chapter 24 - And So Will-o’-Wisp Lu Makes Trouble
Chapter 25 - Let’s Just Plant Cucumbers
Chapter 26 - The Adviser’s Daily Life
Chapter 27 - Will o’ Wisp Lu Finally Appears!
Chapter 28 - Adviser Wu Rides a Horse (NSFW)
Chapter 29 - For Whom Are You Getting Angry About?
Chapter 30 - The General’s EQ is Touching
Chapter 31 - Rumours
Chapter 32 - You Like Fanning The Flames, Yet You Can’t Take The Heat (NSFW)
Chapter 33 - He’s Like A Wisp of Moonlight
Chapter 34 - Ancestor Worship
Chapter 35 - The Prince of Lanling of Pengornises
Chapter 36 - Staying Up on New Year’s Eve1 (NSFW)
Chapter 37 - The Mutual Destruction of The Brothers Is Troubling The Advisor
Chapter 38 - This New Year is Rough
Chapter 39 - Fire Cannot Be Wrapped In Paper, Unless They Were Paper Lanterns
Chapter 40 - The Cucumbers Have Matured
Chapter 41 - Will o’ Wisp Lu’s Tricks Are Rather Stale
Chapter 42 - An Interlude; Pickled Cucumbers Are Really Yummy
Chapter 43 - How Can A Pengornis Compare to Me? (NSFW)
Chapter 44 - Why Is It Lanterns Again??
Chapter 45 - Mingzhu Flees / A Treasure Covered in Dust1
Chapter 46 - Wafts and Whiffs (NSFW)
Chapter 47 - There Are Some Things You Actually Did Not Forget
Chapter 48 - This Apparently Is A Trap Disguised As A Feast
Chapter 49 - That Peach Forest, Once Upon A Time
Chapter 50 - A Qin’s Melody Spells One’s Emotions
Chapter 51 - Haiwang, Are You Really Not Going to Let The Physician Check Your Eyes?
Chapter 52 - Let’s Do Something A Little Interesting (NSFW)
Chapter 53 - Come, Come Touch Your Belly (NSFW)
Chapter 54 - Are We Still Giving This Gift?
Chapter 55 - Rancui Gains A Loyal Puppy
Chapter 56 - Your Good Friend Mr. Lu Is Back Online
Chapter 57 - That Frog in The Well
Chapter 58 - So Many Pengornises In The Capital, Of Course I Should Go Take A Look!
Chapter 59 - The Past Is Over, There’s No Turning Back
Chapter 60 - The Will-o-Wisp Turning Into Dust Only Needed The Blink of An Eye
Chapter 61 - The Various Emotions of Life, And So It Goes
Chapter 62 - It’s Time For Plot: Trouble at a Wedding!
Chapter 63 - Not Sure What Title to Give This, Bursting Their Bubbles?
Chapter 64 - The Agreed Upon Blood Vomiting
Chapter 65 - The Long Journey to The Capital
Chapter 66 - If He Doesn’t Belong to Anyone, Would You Want Him?
Chapter 67 - You Can’t Stop Taking This Medicine
Chapter 68 - Is This In The Hands of Fate or Mine?
Chapter 69 - This Peng Society Gathering…
Chapter 70 - I’ve Missed You… (NSFW)
Chapter 71 - A Dream That Left No Traces (NSFW)
Chapter 72 - Every Age Brings In a New Pengornis
Chapter 73 - The Tree of Jianmu: The Bridge Between Heaven and Earth
Chapter 74 - We Both Have Nothing, And So Coincidentally, We’re A Match
Chapter 75 - As The Saying Goes, To Be Hoisted By One’s Own Petard
Chapter 76 - No Matter How Painful Getting Hoisted By One’s Own Petard Is, It’s Self-Inflicted
Chapter 77 - Yan Wenxin
Chapter 78 - Forever and Eternal Peace
Chapter 79 - Rubbing the Belly
Chapter 80 - Showdown
Chapter 81 - Showdown Part 2
Chapter 82 - How to Prove This?
Chapter 83 - A Trap Within A Trap(?): Part 1
Chapter 84 - A Trap Within A Trap(?): Part 2
Chapter 85 - Advisor Wu Toughens Up
Chapter 86 - Tell the Truth
Chapter 87 - Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining
Chapter 88 - This Is Called A Slutty Hole (NSFW)
Chapter 89 - How About Burning The Pengornis Drawing of Ping Yifan?
Chapter 90 - Your Good Friend Yan Wenxin is Now Online
Chapter 91 - Spring’s Frequent Visitor, While Money Disappears
Chapter 92 - Meeting the In-Laws
Chapter 93 - Your Pengornis Isn’t The Only Thing I Like
Chapter 94 - Ai, There’s Something I Want to Say (NSFW)
Chapter 95 - A Bolt From The Blue (NSFW)
Chapter 96 - Anxious and Uneasy
Chapter 97 - What Was Man Yue Doing Here?!
Chapter 98 - Adviser Wu’s Short Story
Chapter 99 - Someone Is Vomiting Blood
Chapter 100 - Time to Get Yan Wenxin to Fall Into The Trap!
Chapter 101 - Prison Play (NSFW)
Chapter 102 - Closing The Net
Chapter 103 - Visiting A Prisoner In Jail
Chapter 104 - Xingzi: Always Misjudged
Chapter 105 - Wrapping Up
Chapter 106 - It Started With Pengornises, And It Also Ends With Pengornises (End)